Pre-Marriage Pron & Cons for Women & Men – Nouman Ali Khan

Advice For single boys and girls for Pre-Marriage?

For those of you younger girls that are being forced by their parents to marry some of their cousin from Bangladesh.
We Have to know before marriage its pros and cons. Those of you that are being forced to Marriage and they’re being told you have to marry this person okay. what about this one ?
And we brought another one and we brought another one and they just keep getting uglier for some reason.

I don’t know what it is but they keep getting up here and the pressure is mounting on you. Because you’re reaching the cultural expiration date. Let me tell you something very strictly very seriously if you don’t open your mouth. If you don’t open your mouth and clearly say this is not how I want to live, this is not gonna be the next 50 years of my life this is not what I want to do.

If you don’t open your mouth and say I shouldn’t say anything my parents won’t understand no families will not resolve issues until you openly talk.

Im not talking about yelling and screaming but you have to be open and clear. Let your parents know this is not how it’s gonna go.
it’s not disrespectful and parents please listen to this. Please listen to this don’t force your daughters into a marriage they’re not happy with this.
Don’t say on their behalf no no she’s happy, we know her. You don’t know her.

You don’t know her she is not happy you’re just saying that because I’m asking, no she’s okay. They don’t know that they come crying to the emails.
Why my father wants me to marry ?
She said, I guess I should, do you have you seen the guy ?
No.
But it’s my parents what can I do in Islam ?
You have to obey your parents no matter what.
Yes in Islam you have to obey your parents no matter what but also in Islam parents cannot be unjust. They don’t have an open license to do whatever they want. They don’t have that either in Islam.

Parents and children are supposed to have a trusting relationship you know.
Don’t hijack. You know sometimes the only ayat our parents

وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا
Be Kind to Parents
Surah Al-Isra
Verse 23

this is the only Quran, did not even all the whole ayah . It was just وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا
Be Kind to Parents you know got me again and we use that card . Look our Dean emphasizes the rights of parents more than any other religion. known to man more than any other religion but our religion also emphasizes fairness and muscley the idea of responsibility.

Like parent parents do not get that many rights without having that many responsibilities. You have responsibilities to your daughters and your son’s you really really do this your homework assignment after this lecture. You know what it is and open honest honest brave conversation with your parents about when you think you should be married . Why you think you s hould be married. What kind of person you think you should marry and parents don’t flip out for the young men. Can you become men for God’s sake listen listen listen.

If you’re like in your 20s and every time you have a break every time you have time off from school or a weekend off you’re spending it behind a screen with a Playstation 3 or a 4 or an Xbox or whatever else then you’re not a man yet . Go first of all get a job even while you’re in high school in college.

Pre-Marriage Tips ?

I don’t care get a job it’ll turn you into a man it’ll make you ready for marriage. Just because you find girls pretty doesn’t mean you’re ready to get married.

That doesn’t mean that you have to show some responsibility to be able to stand on your own two feet . And parents of teenage children please push your children to do work. You’re like a hundred I can afford it I’m a doctor, I’m an engineer, I’m a business owner I can’t afford it my children don’t have to work.

Yes they do because it’s part of their education. I don’t care if you’re like changing tires at a car shop at a mechanic shop. I don’t care if you’re lawn mowing but do work it will give you respect for money. It gives you respect and responsibility it prepares you for life.

My Pre-Marriage Story ?

I made a case to my parents when I was 20 years old so that’s suicide right lol.
I made a case to my parents when I was 20 that I want to get married. But you know what I had been working 40 hours a week since I was 16 in New York City.
I’ve never worked less than 40 hours a week that was an easy week for me. And I’ve been going full-time to college you know in high school.

I actually took a longer time to graduate out of college because I had work. I never once took money from my parents for college tuition. I refuse that in no way if I can’t afford it I’m not going to college. I’ll work on it myself I’ve worked in shoe stores I’ve worked in surgical places I’ve worked in like local Queens newspapers.

I’ve done all kinds of crazy jobs I even worked at the desi grocery store oh my god . I’ve worked there for one day but I did and I’m proud of it I’m not ashamed of it but you know why I’m telling you this I’m telling you this because there’s no shame in working. It’s part of what makes you who you are. I got married at the age of 22 but I had I can argue I had a right to I was on my own for quite some time.

I was taking care of my own responsibilities. If you’re doing that then don’t expect the highest things in life.

Marage are crazy they’re just crazy you know. I got married six months after I got laid off.
I didn’t have a job and I got married I didn’t get married because I had the money I got married because my in-laws felt that I was good for it, that was it. I could prove myself to them that’s all it was there. So look for that in a son look for that in the boys.